CHAPTER 2 – THERE’S A DEFINITION FOR ASSHOLE AND IT GOES BY THE NAME BOGIE


    Ozarks – Arkansas


    ***


    He’d been kneeling in front of his foot-locker for about thirty seconds just staring at it.. He’d pulled it from the deep caverns of his walk in closet buried under old clothes and junk. Bose felt the moment and like when he had his PTSD attacks just lay there, shoulder and head leaning against Jeb’s knee.


    His hand rested on the lid and had been for several seconds, shaking. This locker held so many memories, a lot of good ones but the bad ones were so bad they heavily outweighed the good. It had been his life for almost twenty years from a snot nosed twenty year old to almost forty. Embrace the suck.


    He flipped it open as his eyes noticed a countdown ticker in his vision fully cementing it wasn’t some peyote dream he was stepping through. It was down to fifteen minutes. Quit fucking around and get to business coward. Sooner started, sooner done.


    He flipped the lid and stood Bose matching him with a leap up and an affirmative hammer bark. He rubbed his boy’s head.


    “I know Bose. Thanks for the patience.”


    His eyes cataloged the contents then cussed under his breath. He’d forgotten he’d sold his flak jacket when he’d been short on rent. Shit. He lifted his eyes towards the pit that was his closet as his mind clamped onto the best alternative. He was wearing his best pair of jeans already and a black tee which would do. He leapt into the closet and ten seconds later came out wearing his heavy leather motorcycle jacket. It was the best he had in the moment and it fit nice. It was super thick leather meant to be able to take a fall from a bike.


    He reached in and pulled his old shotgun scabbard sliding it up and over himself before locking it up front. He’d had it made a long time ago. He slid his hand and pulled out his sigma, one of the best combat knives ever made in his opinion not to mention it was a gift from some old friends, marines that were as marine as a marine could get.


    He held the blade up, black matte, reflecting no light as it should. It was the original blade used by Green Berets. In all the tours he’d run through, many of them joint operations, he’d been blessed with making a lot of friends in the marines. Jeb had been an E-8 attached to the Infantry though usually in a joint command with Artillery, more times than not in holding actions in hot zones.


    All the Marine friends had gotten him an invite three different times over the course of his career to take part in MCMAP Training – Marine Corps Martial Arts Program, After the third time he’d gotten to Brown Rank which for someone not in the Marines was unheard of. The sigma had been his prize from his Marine buddies. It held a </a>  and hadn’t been made since the late nineties. It was an heirloom and had saved his ass a shit ton of times but no matter how beautiful it was it was nothing next to what was left in the box.


    He slid the sigma into the sheathe on the front of the shotgun scabbard strap he’d had made for it. His hand dropped into the locker and everything was if it was yesterday, the rust falling off on the quick. Two bandoleers of shotgun shells, all slugs, went over his jacket. Last step and the hardest but he did it without thought, hands only shaking a bit which was a huge leap.


    He lifted out Vlad. His only companion for longer than he could remember. Vladimere, the blood-letter, the killer, the Harbinger. The men of his unit, at least the ones that had still lived after the ambush, after that bloody day, named him that, the Harbinger but in reality it was Vlad, his instrument, that led the way to his greatest victory and his greatest regrets.


    He pulled it out and without thought went through all the checks and when he was finished held it out in front of his eyes. Ten minutes left.


    Vladimere – Benelli LE M4 Tactical, 18.5” barrel, improved cylinder choke. It was specced to fire slugs as that was the only thing Jeb had ever used. He’d always preferred the extra stopping power and accuracy and extended range of slugs.


    He knew guys that only used buckshot and if Jeb hadn’t been so trained up in hand to hand and knife fighting he might have had a different outlook but anyone that got close enough to need buckshot he’d cut through them like butter with his sigma or his head, knees, fists, teeth, whatever the fuck was needed.


    He checked the weapon, blew through it, then began loading it, six and one in the chamber. With a heavy sigh he slid Vlad into the scabbard on his back followed by pulling it and sheathing it a few times to make sure it was smooth. Decades of doing something made it a ghost that never stopped haunting you. Seven Minutes. He wished he still had a couple frags but such is life. IF wishes were fishes, someone would be out of business.


    Bose had been abnormally quiet sitting on his haunches and just watching his pops. He usually was only that calm and quiet when he had a thigh bone to gnaw on. His boy was growing, maturing, that is until he ripped a fart that had Jeb’s eyes watering. He laughed and slapped some pets on his boy’s haunch as Bose stood, baby steps.


    He rolled out of the cabin towards the bright ass circle of light sitting on his training field. Six minutes. He wondered what Old Man Jenkins was thinking of this shit. There was no way a damn light spearing from the sky to land on the turf when it was sliding into early evening wasn’t noticeable for far more then fifteen miles and some change. Another message popped up. He wouldn’t say he was used to them. It still broke his brain a bit trying to chew this new reality but it no longer spelled PTSD break down.


    The only one that can see the light is you Soldier Boy, and well, anyone else that was chosen but I think the closest to you is at least sixty miles away. Now get your ass over to the light so I can go over some shit. Also, lose the pooch. He’s a liability where you’re going.


    Man this guy was a fucking asshole but he wasn’t wrong. His brain had already been chewing on the problem. He had zero clues about what the fuck was waiting for him but he knew whatever it was screamed danger danger Will Robinson. Bose was many things but a combatant wasn’t one of them unless you were talking squirrels. He’d bet money any day all day on Bose against squirrels or pretty much most people he knew that lived around here.


    His choices were slim though. He wouldn’t survive out here alone. He wasn’t really a hunting breed so there were no instincts for him to fall back on. They’d been bred to be guard dogs, maybe herd some sheep. Jeb wasn’t sure but he thought he’d read somewhere Rome used them in war as battle hounds, unleashing them on formations to break them up and cause chaos so the phalanxes could gut them.


    Bose understood danger was near. He eyed the circle of light and threw a growl, hackles raised. Jeb sighed. He couldn’t do it. Bose had led him out of the darkness or at least most of it as far as his PTSD. Whatever he was about to face, they would do it together and if he died, he died. He didn’t think Bose would want it any other way nor would he.


    He took a heavy breath, hands shaking as he stopped to pick up his axe where he’d left it on the ground earlier. Axe, his sigma, Vlad and a thick leather motorcycle jacket. It would need to be enough. A sidearm would be nice too but he hadn’t kept his and literally hadn’t touched a firearm in almost a dozen years besides general upkeep on Vlad. A heavy bark followed by a hip check that had him stumbling a bit added to the list. He rested his hand on his boy’s head which came up past his waist.


    “Yep, you too boy. We’re a team, no matter what comes.”


    A hammer bark rolled out which he pretty much took as agreement especially with the accompanying doggy excited grin. They both took the last twenty feet to the light with Jeb stopping a foot away holding Bose’s spiked collar to keep him from jumping in. Alright Old Man, here we are, balls heavy, balls deep, fuck your enemies up, and take the leap.


    They stepped together into the light and before he could blink twice both of them were sucked to the center and off their feet floating in fucking mid-air, frozen. What the hell? He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, speak, shit. He figured Bose was the same though he couldn’t turn his head but he’d be throwing hammer barks and growls all over the fucking place if that wasn’t truth. The asshole sent more messages.


    You brought the pooch? Really? Whatever. You want to watch your beast die horribly, that’s on you. Alright, here we go. You followed the instructions with a few minutes to go, look at you Soldier Boy. For that you would normally have the boon of choosing one item on your person to be made into a soul-bound item. And no, I will not go into specifics on what the fuck that is. Get used to it. There’s a lot of rules and regulations and just straight up bullshit when it comes to the System and that’s what this whole shit is, a System, one you are now a part of. You brought the pooch though so I am obligated to also give you the option of instead of creating a soul-bound item you can instead make your beast a bonded animal-companion.


    What the fuck was he supposed to do? He couldn’t move much less speak..the message interrupted him.


    Just think it dumb ass. I can pick up surface thoughts utilizing the System interface. I would suggest making the axe or your antiquated firearm a soul-bound item as it would give you a much better chance to not just get killed out of the gate in the Tutorial you will momentarily be dropped into but since you brought the fucking dog and if you want it to live beyond the very first scrap you get into then you should choose the bonded animal-companion option otherwise the System won’t bring it into said System and someone breathing on it too hard would obliterate it. And who knows, if you survive, it might just become more than just fodder to the shredder. It will be tied to your own ascension.


    Fine asshole but you seriously need a god damn beat down. How about removing the multiple cocks out of your ass and letting up on the full board shit bag routine? Zero responses came. Jeb mentally sighed. I choose Bose, the animal companion thing and I….


    Everything was shut down as he experienced the most painful shit he had ever chomped teeth into. Everything he was, is, and would ever be, got flayed, broken down to a molecular level, atomized and his consciousness fled into a deep dark hole to never emerge again.


    ***


    The Crucible of War


    ***


    Next thing he knew he was opening his eyes off his back looking up at gray stone. What the fuck? A small whimpering rolled out next to him. He immediately reached out not yet wanting to move much as every muscle in his body felt like it had been tenderized by a huge ass butcher. He found fur and pulled the mass to his side. Damn. He felt some extra muscle in his boy making him turn his head.


    Yep, it was Bose looking like he was feeling about the same as he was. He looked a bit bigger, not much as his boy was already fucking huge in the dog world but maybe ten percent at a guess. He wondered if that went for him as well.


    The movement gave him a bit more of the room which turned out to be inventive, more gray stone but what caught his eye was on the opposite wall was a gray fog swirling looking like some kind of portal maybe? He wasn’t quite sure as magical strange as fuck portals weren’t common place on Earth but he’d seen enough Star Trek episodes to make a from the hip guess.


    He also felt something behind him, a humming. He twisted his head and there was a similar fog no more then a coin toss from where he was laid out. Speaking of he was beginning to feel better so he pushed himself to his knees. Bose must have been the same as he joined his Pops, popping to his feet as if he’d already forgotten the pain and being in a strange alien room. The life and short term memory of a dog, must be nice. His only doggy concerns was that his Pops was next to him and up and about as Jeb made the final push to his feet.


    “This ain’t fucking Kansas, that’s for sure boy.”


    A raspy scratchy voice like someone who’d smoked a ton of ciggs and drank a lot of whiskey hit out behind him.


    “No it certainly ain’t fucking Kansas Soldier Boy!!! And it ain’t the damn Tutorial either!!! What the galactic fuck??!!!!”


    Jeb spun around just as Bose let off some booming barks and growls spinning on a dime and taking two steps forward almost past his hip until he put a hand down on his collar to halt him. Jeb’s eyes did a double take as they landed on what could only be a damn Gremlin floating in the air in a black suit, white shirt, black tie, smoking a fat cigar. And when he said Gremlin he meant like literal Gremlin, like if you ripped one right out of the film and not the cute fluffy one, no, it was one of the fall to the dark side ones down to even having a tuft of white hair down the middle of the pitch black leathery skin and the sharp long bat type ears. The shite tuft of hair was slicked back like some 40’s, 50’s movie actor. He blurted words before even thinking about it.


    “What the fuck are you?”


    The Gremlin was walking back and forth in mid-air grumbling under his breath pulling hard on his stogie over and over sending rings of smoke above his head. He stopped at the burst of words and crossed his arms, tapping his tiny dress shoe’d feet, floating there.


    “What the fuck do I look like dumb ass? I’m your personal guide. And you should feel damn lucky I am otherwise this complete cluster fuck would be worse than it already is. Damn...do you know how much I had to pay to get you? I had two Nymphs and a Succubus bidding for your ass. I had to hock myself to the limits to win and than fuck, this!!”


    Jeb was lost right out of the gate and had no clue what the fuck the little Gremlin was talking about besides somehow he bought the rights to be his advisor? Why the fuck would someone buy something like that he had no fucking idea. This whole shit fest was making his brain snap, crackle and pop and it wasn’t rice crispies. And he was damn tired of it.


    He stomped over in front of the pacing creature while Bose, picking up on his mood, started hammer barking and growling at the little fucker. Jeb planted himself in front of Mr. Guide.


    “Explain right now you little shit or so God help me I’ll strangle your tiny ass to get some answers.”


    The Gremlin stopped, hard stared him then blew cigar smoke directly in his face though Jeb felt nothing, smelled nothing while the little shit smiled, sharp teeth showing in his tiny mouth. The creature was maybe three feet tall but posed as if he was a fearsome powerhouse.


    “You won’t and can’t do shit Soldier Boy. I’m here but not really. I’m sitting in a high piece of tech in my house on a station far far away from here. This is a projection, nothing more. I can’t effect anything here physically and you sure as shit can’t do fuck all. Give me a moment though and I’ll throw some tidbits your way. I gots to find a way to salvage something here which requires the miracle of all miracles and somehow keeping your ass alive in the middle of the Endless Dungeon, so pop a squat, and let me get to hustling. I already backtracked to the culprits and these little shits are gonna pay for fucking with my fandango.”


    ***


    Sub-Station 4652-1B of the Great Galactic Empire -- Basement Level 38 – The System Support Station Alpha 3 – Quadrant 26145


    ***


    “C’mon Larry, give me the good news, did you get’em?”


    Two what looked like Gnomes sat in two chairs way too large for them in front of some high-tech consoles with all sorts of buttons and input keyboards with a myriad of video screens laid out along the wall in front of them.


    It was a small space looking like a place people no one wanted around were sent. Both Gnomes had thick set of glasses on and vests filled with all sorts of tools for every occasion except most likely the one they found themselves in. Both Gnomes looked similar as if related. One was twice as fat though which was the one that answered. Both had whiny high pitched voices.


    “We did Theodore, we did, fifty of them. Our payday is on its way!”


    Theodore rubbed his hands together like he saw a future ahead of him filled with luxury.


    “And you remembered to attach our private recorders and give them the common upgrade stones?”


    His Brother looked at him as if he were a moron.


    “Of course I did Theodore. What would be the point if I didn’t? The Dark Network ain’t gonna buy pirated videos of contestants dying in the Endless Dungeon if we didn’t actually record the said dying. And yes, I had the System give them upgrade stones for however many things it qualified as weapons or armor. I mean literally Common Copper Weapons ain’t gonna do much to Bronze Ranked monsters but it will look better on video if they can at least draw some blood before they die horrifically.”


    Both looked at each other chuckling like some mad scientists. Larry suddenly started hissing through his teeth as he looked off reading multiple System messages, his worry warring with his irritation. Theodore started rubbing his hands together nervously and scanning for the exits to escape which literally was idiotic as the room only had one door.


    “What’s going on Larry, did they find us? Are we going to die Larry? I told you this was a horrible idea to mess with a new Recruitment. We’re gonna die horribly I just know it. I should have listened to our Mother when she asked us to go into the family business.”


    Larry looked to be feverishly responding to the messages, irritation growing but the fear on his small pudgy face disappearing. Theodore attempted to say something but his Brother silenced him with an upraised hand. He seemed to have finished but then his hands danced along the command console to the System. That worried Theodore even more. They had to mess with it a bit to pull off what they pulled off but they’d spent almost three years figuring out how to get away with the hoodwink they’d pulled.


    Larry finally finished then leaned back looking very angry but also relieved. He turned towards Theodore.


    “Out of all the things that could have happened you got to be yanking my meat bag. One of the fifty has a Guide, can you believe it? Less than 5% of the Contestants have enough potential for a big wig to want to bid for a Guide Slot and we got one? Damn, I wish you could have figured out how to do the programming so we could have selected our suckers.”


    Theodore finally got his back up.


    “Hey Larry!!! Without me we wouldn’t have been able to do it at all. My deep programming skills are twice yours and it took me almost three years to even create that program. There was no way we could have done what you just mentioned without sending alarms ringing out everywhere. As you well know the only way we pulled it off was to call it a System security and coding check, making the System think that it had ordered it itself. It took a light touch to even make happen. (He stared at Larry begging him to contradict the assertion but was met with only silence.)


    Granted, your operational skills are better than mine Big Brother which was why you actually implemented the program but without the program itself we wouldn’t have anything. Is the Guide gonna snitch us out? Are we gonna die Larry?”


    Larry shook his head, gritting his teeth.


    “No, the bastard just blackmailed us to give him a soul-bound stone. Wasn’t that hard as the Contestant didn’t take it when it was offered, instead had some beast he bonded with so I just erased that choice as if he hadn’t made one. The System gets small glitches all the time, especially during a Recruitment when it’s processing all those people into the System while also transporting them to the Crucible. Should be fine.”


    The grin widened on his face.


    “And hell Little Brother, we got one of the chosen! Even in the Endless Dungeon he should be able to make a fight look good before dying. We will make a killing selling it to the Dark Network.”


    Theodore had a bad feeling about all this but attempted to put a smile on for his Big Brother.


    ***


    The Crucible of War – The Endless Dungeon


    ***


    Jeb’s irritation and confusion were stepping hand in hand as he waited for whatever his quote, unquote, Guide, was doing. It looked like the fucker was pulling the messaging shit if the expression of needing to take a shit was any indication.


    He was ancy, an adrenaline dump after stepping into this thinking he was gonna come out swinging. The reality he dropped into was very anti-climactic. There was nothing to do in this room but he did have fun a couple times slow swiping his axe through the Gremlin just to test the whole projection statement but alas, the fucker hadn’t been lying and his axe had just gone right through him. Bose had gotten bored as hell and was lounging near his feet. Jeb decided to join him and popped a squat.


    Now that he wasn’t stressing out or in ready mode to scrap he realized he felt better than he had in a long time, at least physically. His sore back from earlier was gone, utterly gone. He felt stronger, more fit, and when he looked down, his paunch that had slowly grown over the years as he’d gotten older seemed mostly gone, like he’d lost a decade of age.


    He ran his hand through his short salt n pepper hair. If he could bottle whatever this diet was he’d make millions. He chuckled and Bose slapped his meaty head down on his lap. He absent mindedly stroked it.


    Another minute went by until finally the pacing Gremlin shot him a look pulling off a cigar that never seemed to get smaller.


    “Did you seriously swing your axe through me? I’m here doing work to even give you a slim as fuck chance to actually survive what’s coming and you swinging that thing at me? Talk about ungrateful.”


    Those were fighting words to Jeb and he was back on his feet in a hot sec, axe gripped like iron which got Dose rolling up with heavy boom barks mixed with growls.


    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    “You got to be making a fucking joke little man!!! I didn’t ask to get yanked from my planet to some strange as hell gray room where I’m told I will be fighting for my life, and as far as you go!!! I don’t see a lot of guiding going on!! I got zero fucking clues what the hell is actually happening besides your hints at doom and gloom and that something went very wrong from what should have happened! You made it sound like I’d be in a scrum coming out of the gate which had me all amped up ready to fight for my god damn life only to find myself in this box and you off in lala land doing whatever the hell you’ve been doing!”


    Jeb’s stress levels were amped to the max and his hands started shaking as he felt the first crawl of memories inching their way into his head, kids with corpse skin and vacant eyes and holes in their chest. He sat down dropping the axe putting both his hands to his head attempting to take deep breaths and fight off the encroaching history. Bose quickly pressed into him throwing heavy licks at his hands attempting to get to his face.


    It took a full minute to get his brain under control and the shaking to stop. A soft voice hit his ears while Bose had half his body on Jeb’s lap.


    “I’m sorry Soldier Boy. My name’s Bogie. I didn’t quite realize how bad those memories of yours were. War is a bitch and here you are rolling into a perpetual one.”


    Jeb lifted his eyes and clocked the Grem…, Bogie, a couple feet away floating in the air, legs crossed still pulling on his cigar. He looked like he actually gave a shit though Jeb was gonna hold judgment. Actions spoke, not words. Words were easy. Now that Bogie had his attention, the little Gremlin nodded his head and continued, taking a big huff and puff, before beginning.


    “First of all, a couple things to get out in the open. I’m stuck with you for the foreseeable future, well,  if you don’t die right out of the gate and with the bullshit those two fuck-heads pulled that might be quicker than I or you want. I got my entire life’s equity tied up in you so believe I will do my best to make sure you got the best shot you’re gonna get.


    First though, let’s get shit straight.  I didn’t choose you, the System did. It chose all 50,000 of you five or so years ago only replacing those that ate the big bullet before the big show kicked off.


    What I did do was bid to be your Guide. Only about 5% of all of you are bid on, only 5% of all 50,000 get a guide. But I’m not going to get into that and the whys. We need to focus on getting you the hell out of the Endless Dungeon still breathing which has an almost zero chance of happening.”


    Jeb shoved his way into the stream of words.


    “What is the Endless Dungeon and why are we here and not wherever we were supposed to go? Was there a glitch or something in the fancy System of yours?”


    He wanted to ask why the fuck this little bastard bid or anyone would bid to be some nobody from Earth’s guide but held off for now. Ain’t no one do anything without mula or the equivalent on the other side and this guy said he beggared himself to win which meant the payoff had to be off the cliff huge. Bogie had taken a moment to answer, puffing away on his eternal lasting cigar.


    “A Recruitment happens very rarely. In fact only two have come down the pipe in my three hundred years of life and every time one does, there is always some low-ball schmucks with some scheme to get a cut of it and make some backdoor money.


    Normally they are dumb asses and fail miserably and we only find out about it in the galactic news vids after the fact. This time however it was two tech heads and they actually succeeded. What they are trying to do I have no clue and did not have the time to dig into. I got something out of it for you to give you a shot at staying alive.”


    He stood up in mid-air and went back to pacing, cigar pull, pace.


    “Let’s get to the nit and the grit. You got got, hustled, bamboozled. Your transport signal got hijacked. I looked over the meta data of when it happened which I can do as your Guide and followed it back to the source, finding two lowbie tech shits. They hustled you, I hustled them. (Pause, stare.)


    The System doesn’t give two fucks about you, you are just a number. You die, you can be replaced so reporting them doesn’t do shit for you or me. So I didn’t, instead I blackmailed them to get you what you should have chosen instead of the pooch, a soul-bind stone. It’s in your inventory and I’ll show you how to get to that but let’s get the quick and dirty explanation out the bag as we need to get the fuck out of the Endless Dungeon as quick as possible. And that means the basics. Focus on the word Status in your head.”


    Jeb had resigned himself to whatever this bullshit was and at least understood two guys attempting to game the System even if it put him up a creek without a paddle. He still had questions but understood you needed basic understanding of the game before you could play.


    He’d roll with the Gremlin for the moment cause at least he understood having money on the line and that part based on how the fucker was acting held truth if not all the truth. He took a breath and felt a tremor in his hands. He pushed the word ‘Status’ in his head like Bogie told him and lo and behold something popped up.


    JEBEDIAH ‘JEB’ STONE


    Race – Human


    Core – Copper (0)


    Class – (N/A – Please fill all Core Slots to attain a Class)


    Age – 52


    CORE SLOT – BODY (EMPTY)


    Sub-Attributes


    Strength -- 1.1 (Empty)


    Agility – 0.9 (Empty)


    Constitution – 1.0 (Empty)


    CORE SLOT – MIND (EMPTY)


    Sub Attributes


    Intelligence – 0.6 (Empty)


    Perception -- 1.0 (Empty)


    Will – 1.2 (.6*) (Empty)


    CORE SLOT – SPIRIT (EMPTY)


    Sub Attributes


    Soul – 1.4 (Empty)


    Aura – 1.2 (Empty)


    Fate – 2.0 (Empty)


    *Debuff – Induced Trauma


    UNIVERSAL ABILITIES


    Galactic Language Translation


    Identify – Basic


    Spatial Inventory – Small (20 Slots) (Open Inventory? Y/N)


    (Equipment) (Open up Sub-Menu? Y/N)


    Bonded Animal-Companion – Bose (Open Status Sheet? Y/N)


    As his mind was attempting to understand any of this shit Bogie was dancing like there was no tomorrow.


    “I knew it Soldier Boy. You a man among boys. Those Attributes make you a beast out of the gate. Well, minus your debuff going on but once we figure out how get rid of those chains, we gonna make you a powerhouse. We just need luck on our side and for you get a really good gem out of the gate, Uncommon or Rare with some synergy, something good to kick you off. Then...”


    The Gremlin’s mouth suddenly shut it as he looked around where they were.


    “Damn, forgot where we were. Getting you to a City alive is gonna be a mammoth undertaking in itself. Probably gonna have go against the grain and see how sneaky your big ass can be.”


    Jeb was mostly not paying attention to the little man as he just kept staring at the Status in his vision. Was this who he was? Was this all he was? To see everything that made him, him, in numbers, was blowing his mind. To even see his mental issued broken down into a debuff with a -0.6 modifier crumbled everything he’d ever understood about mental health. It also proved it wasn’t just in someone’s head like many had argued, some make-believe symptom with the arm-chair advice of quit being a pussy and tough it out.


    It was usually said by people that had never been in combat. He didn’t know how he felt about it, seeing the thing that had haunted his brain for over a decade displayed as a condition and a negative to some arbitrary Attribute. Also, why the hell was his Attributes so fucking low? He had to get to the bottom of it especially after Bogie mouthing words like they were good.


    “Hey, these Attribute seem awfully low?”


    The Gremlin popped hard eyes at Jeb blowing a few rings.


    “Is that so Soldier boy? Maybe take a fresh peek knowing the average for a human to start is 0.6 than tell me how low they are. Your Spirit Attributes alone are insanely high. The only thing you’re average on is your Intelligence, and you’re a soldier, not a scientist or politician and the likelihood you gonna choose to become a mage is non-existent. That’s why I put my mula on your horse. I don’t trust mages, never ever. They shifty in the eyes I tell ya. Never trust mages, ever.


    Don’t get cocky though, a lot of other races get bonuses humans don’t like Ork’s average strength is 1.6 to 1.8. Put that in perspective though as they also start with an average Intelligence of 0.2 but that’s how the System works. You get a boost one place, you get the opposite somewhere else.”


    Coming from an actual Gremlin that had shifty eyes that was a bit rich but whatever. And he did say Orks right as in big green steroided out fuckers from Lord of the Rings. He chuckled to himself. Hell if there’s Ghost Gremlins how the hell could there not be Orks. Probably Elves too. He wouldn’t mind meeting an Elf Lady if they was as hot as they showed in art and movies. Damn, been too long.


    If there really was such things as choosing to become a Mage, the little fucker was right, he didn’t see himself being a mage either. He liked to either shoot shit or hit shit. Jeb guessed it was still shooting shit if you were throwing a fireball up someone’s ass but still, didn’t fit him. Fuck it. It was a lot to take in, all of it, everything.


    “So Bogie, how does one get these gems the Status is talking about to get a Class and I’m guessing from my toe dip into Wow over a decade ago, it means what I think it means.”


    Bose pressed into his leg, the talky talk probably boring him more than nothing going on. He gave him some neck scratches till he was thundering his leg against the ground. He turned his gaze up from his pooch as Bogie answered.


    “I’m more of a shower than an explainer if you get my meaning. Let’s just focus on shit to get us going and when you get a gem I’ll explain the whole sha-bang-bang. On your status page you will see towards the bottom your Inventory listing. Focus on that and it should bring up a display of your inventory. You will see what should be four plain looking stones and one fancy one. Focus on them all and think of them coming to you.”


    Within a few seconds Bogie watched five stones falling to the ground and smacked his head.


    “Yea I should have been specific and said will them to your hands but whatever. Also, a good note here. Did ya see the slight delay to you willing them out and them appearing? Lesson there is don’t put your weapons in your inventory if you don’t want to be shit out of luck when things get hot.”


    Jeb wasn’t planning on ever putting his weapons out of reach but still good to know. None of this was different then boot in the army. You had to give everyone a foundation, a base line before you could build them up into what was needed. He was always a fast learner, almost freakishly so cause he could laser focus. He was ready for the next instructions as Bogie spoke.


    “Those are common upgrade stones so really all they’re gonna accomplish is making your weapons or armor, in your case, that jacket, into System graded items. That means you can actually scratch something with them and maybe won’t instantly die if you get hit in the chest. The way they are currently they wouldn’t do shit to even a Copper much less what we’ll be facing in here.


    Don’t get cocky though. Going up a Rank or more like we will be in here, especially with no Class nor Levels and the boost in Attributes they would bring, and those things, even upgraded, will do very little. It’s why when we leave this place you are gonna do your best to be sneaky if we got even a spitball’s chance of getting your ass to whatever City were closest to but I won’t know that till I get peepers on what part of the Endless Dungeon were trolling in.”


    Jeb knelt down and started collecting the stones, the common looking ones first. They were small, holding all four of them in one palm easily. He went to reach for the shiny one when a thought occurred to him. If his weapons as is wouldn’t supposedly do shit to anything they faced in here what about Bose? Jeb couldn’t let his pup be defenseless in here.


    He plucked one of the common stones in his palm out towards Bose who as always, stayed close to his Pops. He had no clue what he was doing and a glance up at Bogie showed he was doing the eyeball dance again implying he was looking at some System bullshit.


    Would you like to use your Upgrade Stone – Common on your Bonded Animal-Companion? Y/N


    He did the mental ‘Yes’ thing at the same time as Bogie screamed out.


    “No!!!!”


    A screeching yelp shot out of his boy and his heart went into his chest. What the fuck did he just do?!!! He went to grab Bose but some kind of energy knocked him on his ass as more insanely loud and drawn out yelps shot out of his boy. No!!! Fucking no!!!! His hands started shaking, stress levels rumbling like a locomotive as he pushed forward against whatever the energy was. If Bose was gonna die he’d do it with his Pop’s damn arms around him, fuck the System.


    His pooch was in mid-air and Jeb saw his entire body being turned inside out as if he was being remade and not in the way when they got transported here. The energy kept shoving against him but Jeb refused to stop. The shaking in his hands halted, the memories receding, the only thing in his head or giving a shit about, getting to what he loved more than anything else, the pup that had saved him.


    He felt his own flesh starting to unravel as he pushed himself through whatever was holding him back as Bogie was screaming shit. The pain was intense but he didn’t give a shit. Army born ate pain for breakfast. A breath later and the energy ghosted as his arms wrapped around his boy who seemed, fine?


    He wasn’t moving but his flesh, everything was where it should be though as his hands got a grip on him, his fur and skin seemed tougher, like thick leather. He went to the ground, holding his boy to him. Please don’t die, please Boy, don’t leave your Pops.


    Bogie floated up looking like he’d aged a decade in a minute, his white hair had gone from slick smooth to shooting out in every direction as if he’d attempted to pull it out.


    “What the fuck were you thinking Soldier Boy!!! Holy cremated corpse!!!!”


    He ignored the gremlin, tears shedding his cheeks as he rocked back and forth with Bose. Hands shook, memories creeping in, everything he touched, a death sentence. Why?!!! A loud huff followed by a hammer bark had his eyes slamming down.


    Bose looked at him with love, with eyes that said he would never leave his Pops. He threw another hammer bark though it was half the volume of his usual pound the anvil variety. Jeb didn’t care. He was alive. He bowed his head down as he pulled Bose up to his chest.


    A big fat ham sandwich lick came a rolling and he welcomed it. His eyes got a bit big as he noticed Bose’s canines. They almost looked they were made out of steel, shiny, extended, his jaws a bit wider and his midnight fur had an almost metallic sheen to it as well though none of it was metal. He ran his hand again through the fur and like before, a thick leather feel to it. Bogie’s voice came into play again.


    “I can’t believe that fucking worked! You are one lucky damn bastard if I ever met one though looking at where we are, both good and bad. That should not have worked. Upgrade Stones are meant for items, not living things.”


    Jeb didn’t give a shit as Bose seemed to get over whatever he’d gone through, got up to his feet and threw a howl to the ceiling. Jeb smiled, that’s his boy though his hands were still shaking a bit. Bogie stared at both of them then shook his head still confused why it worked but quickly flipped to all business.


    “Alright. We’ve wasted enough time with the drama. I’ve been repressing the notifications so you wouldn’t get hit with anymore stress towards your condition but you can only stay in a safe room/zone for thirty minutes before you got to exit it and we on the last seven or eight of that. You need to upgrade your weapons and your jacket and figure out what you want to soul-bind and please do not use that on your beast. It will literally kill it. It’s an Epic Ranked artifact and he’s already soul-bound as your animal companion just for transparency sake.”


    Another message slipped into his vision to prove the Gremlin’s point.


    Safe Zone Occupation – 7 Minutes 38 seconds wremaining to exit.


    Bogie threw out another piece of info.


    “We can come back in once we’ve been out of it for five minutes, kind of a loophole but it is what it is. It will reset at that point. A lot of late Copper Ranked and early Bronze use the rule to Level up cause it’s free unlike a lot of the Instance Dungeons in the Cities which are usually owned and controlled by someone. So short words for you Soldier Boy, get to upgrading then get ready for your sneak to be the card played.”


    There was literally still something about Bogie that seriously made his fist want to pop him in the jaw but he knew when to put it away and get done what needed to get done. He put a stone near his Sigma first and it was very anti-climactic compared to Bose. It glowed for a few seconds lifted out of his hand then popped and dropped back to his hand.


    Only thing he could see was it looked a bit sturdier and the edge and thrusting point finer. He took off his bandoleer of shells then his shotgun scabbard followed by his leather jacket then put another stone near the jacket and the same few second blip rolled. It was now decision time. His axe or Vlad for the fancy stoney thing.


    “What’s the difference in the fancy stone versus the others?”


    Bogie, sucking on his cigar, eyeballed Jeb.


    “Huge. A Soul-Bound Item grows with the wielder while those common upgrade stones barely make it effective up to one rank up. (Grunted) Let’s get this out of the way. You are at the bottom of the Metal Tiers. You are Copper (0). It goes up to ten before you get a shot at evolving to the next metal tier which in your case is Bronze, then Iron and so on. There are seven Tiers in each Grade of Tier. Metal Tiers are followed by the Gem Tiers but almost nobody reaches that high as it gets progressively harder to advance and each evolution requires some kind of quest depending on your Class etc...(Sigh).


    That’s enough info for now. You need to survive to worry about all that shit. It’s like your beast there. It will get influenced by everything happening to you in its own special way. We on a ticking clock Solider Boy, make a decision or were gonna get booted out of here while your pants at your ankles and your shit swinging in the wind.”


    A big part of him said to choose the axe, the safe, damaged part. Vlad and he had so much bloody history, some good and in the right, and another, a single night, where everything went wrong and he’d done dark shit.


    The old argument slipped into his mind. He’d had no choice, his men were being slaughtered but the rational part knew better, knew he had gone off the deep end and killed everything that moved, judge, jury, and executioner with no mercy anywhere in sight.


    He grabbed the last plain stone and shoved it at his axe, a few seconds later, the same, the metal and haft looking a bit sturdier, the edge a bit sharper.


    He pulled Vlad from the scabbard. Do it and get it done. He pushed the shiny stone towards his bane.


    Do you choose to make Vladimere a Soul-Bound Item? Y/N


    His eyes and broken mind opened wide. The System calling the shotty by the full name he’d given it made his hands start shaking and creeping eyes of kids and old women. It always churned a macabre gallows humor within him that the images of the actual fuckers with rifles that had slaughtered his unit never showed up. They were in that house too.


    Before he could waltz down nightmare lane anymore then he had to he mentally hit the yes. Vlad’s transformation was a bit more, the energy even surpassing what happened to Bose as it lifted in the air, a swirl of white energy blanketing it but before he even got a good shot of what was going on a stream of energy shot out of it, hitting him, lifting his big ass in the air as sharp stabs of pain went through his sternum, deep within something, digging into the meat of him then before a few deep breaths passed and he dropped to the ground and somehow, some way, he could feel Vlad a few feet away as he had his head to stone, on knees. He focused on that connection for a second and before be could shout ‘Bob for Apples!’ Vlad was in his hand. Bogie’s voice hit his ears.


    “Think [Identify] towards your weapon.”


    Jeb was still numb with his PTSD clawing at him. He was a fighter but what did he think was gonna happen when he hit actual combat? There was a high juiced chance he would freeze, caught in the web of memories and end up chow for some fantastical beast and that was in whatever Tutorial he was supposed to be in where the Gremlin thought he’d have a good shot, not this Endless Dungeon place where Bogie was looking as if his shot at survival was slim at best.


    Jeb had never ran from anything in his life no matter how difficult, from an abusive alcoholic Father to his leg getting busted his senior year in high school and watching his football dreams and scholarships go down the drain to his military career and being in more hot zones than a John picking up street hookers, not once did he take a backward step or hide from shit. He focused on [Identify] taking a look-see at Vlad.


    VLADIMERE -- System Enhanced Soul-Bound Benelli LE M4 Tactical Shotgun


    Soul-Bound Ability – No longer needs outside ammunition. Creates standard ammunition internally with a slight drain from User’s Stamina. Initial Ammunition Max stays the same at seven, six plus one in the chamber. Slight delay once ammunition is exhausted before it is replenished if required Stamina is available.


    He looked at Vlad which was sleeker and now had no breech to load, glossed over in matching metal. That was, uhm, insane. And Stamina? Still checking out his weapon he threw out the question.


    “Bogie, it mentioned Stamina as cost to reload it now. What’s it talking about?”


    Bogie was tapping his foot in mid-air.


    “Damn Soldier Boy, the minutia. This is unimportant shit at the moment but fine. Think resources appearing in your vision.”


    Jeb restrained from talking shit. The Gremlin was probably right as far as important in the moment, he had no clue about any of it but still, the fucker symbolized asshole.


    He did what was said and four bars appeared in his vision, tiny, a letter or letters to the left of each bar, all of them currently in green, H, ST, M, SP. He assumed ST was the Stamina but all it did was bring him a shit ton of more questions he wanted to ask but knew they were about to be popped out into insane levels of danger so bit his mind and its want of info down.


    He took off his bandoleers of shells, tossing them to the side then quickly and efficiently put everything back on, Vlad back in its scabbard, leather jacket rolling on scabbard, his sigma sliding into it’s sheathe. He ended with bending down and picking up his axe. Bose who’d gone back to lounging, stood up with a meaty bark.


    Jeb had no clue which of the fogs they were going out of it so turned around and stepped towards the closest one before Bogie zipped over between he and the fog.


    “Hell no!!! That goes to the Fathom Ways. You’d die in the first step, literally. They are drowning in Gem Tiered Eldritch Horrors. No. We’re going to the other door into the Endless Dungeon. And you will, if you want to live, listen to every damn word that comes from my pie-hole. As soon as you go through, get down and hide, stay small till I can figure out where the fuck we are and what’s the closest City and how far we got to go to get to it. (Moved within inches of Jeb’s face blowing ghost smoke.) Are you hearing me?”


    Jeb wanted to argue but he had no foot to stand on, he knew shit of what was going on or what he’d be facing. His grip tightened on the haft of his axe. A part of him wanted the new and improved Vlad in his hand but between the memories it brought and the noise it would make, he knew the axe was the way to go until he could access the threats.


    “I hear ya Bogie. I’ll keep a hand on Bose’s collar to make sure he doesn’t go commando.”


    The little Gremlin nodded and for the first time got rid of his cigar, it disappearing into thin air followed by him tightening his tie and pulling on his jacket collars.


    “Alright let’s go Soldier Boy and do our best to keep you breathing.”


    With that inspiring pep talk Jeb gritted his teeth and stepped across the room to the other gray fog. Once he was in front he took a deep breath, skulked down taking a hold of Bose’s collar whispering to his boy to ‘Stay Close’, and cautiously slid through the magical doorway shit. In for a dime, in for a dollar. Balls heavy, balls deep, fuck your enemies up, and take the leap.