Chapter 178


    But his eyes were crystal focused now. Whatever fire that had sparked there had been well contained. He was pulling himself back under control, and I felt cold, mourning the loss.


    He didn’t apologize, thank God, but he didn’t say anything else either. No exnations. No words offort or cruelty.


    Looking at me, he swallowed hard. Then, finally, he said, “Return to your room, Piper.” His voice was still lust-rough. He cleared it but did not speak again.


    He’d made it sound like an order, and not a sexy one. His words were like a bucket of cold water dumped over my head.


    I opened my mouth to say something, I honestly wasn’t sure what, when he abruptly turned and all but ran from me. He disappeared into his room, the door closed and locked behind him.


    I stood staring after him, trying to collect myself after everything that happened. In the end, I simply felt abandoned.


    Confused and embarrassed, I returned to my room. If Mark noticed my disheveled state of dress, he did not mention it. Good, since it was likely his fault, Nichs had known to look for me at all. If Mark said something now, I’d likely reply with a cutting remark I didn’t mean and would regret.


    The person I was truly hurt by was Nichs, not Mark. But I was ready tosh out at just about anyone.


    Except Elva.


    I went to her side to check on her. She was still sleeping peacefully.


    Finally, I exhaled and slunk down onto the mattress beside her. Here, in the safety of my room with the knowledge of Elva safe and happy, I could reflect on whatever the hell had just happened between me and Nichs.


    My body had ignited when Nichs had touched me, and I couldn’t me nostalgia for it this time. Before, our intimacy had been shy and experimental. This had been all heat and passion, and even a little rough. And I loved it.


    I had wanted him to continue so badly, I nearly begged for it. I might have, had we gone on longer.


    I was a mess.


    I only went out to try to find Julian and convince him to save me during the next elimination. Instead, I ended up dry humping Nichs against his door.


    What kind of person was I? I couldn’t control my libido? I was a virgin, sure, but I wasn’t sex-crazed. At least, I never had been before.


    Nichs had drawn it out of me. Even after our breakup and with our years apart, he was the only person I ever wanted.


    Kissing him tonight had lit a spark inside of me. I felt like I had been just sleepwalking before, cing myself and my needs secondary to everything else, but now, I wasing alive again.


    If I acknowledged my own desires, then yes, I wanted to fall into bed with Nichs. The problem, of course, was that I also wanted to keep him there afterwards.


    I didn’t want a one and done with Nichs. I wanted him for life. A dangerous, impossible prospect.Text ? 2024 N?velDrama.Org.


    I needed to get my head on straight. I needed to put my selfish personal desires back on the shelf where they belonged. Thispetition was more than just my wants. My life was more than just what I wanted.


    I had an obligation to Elva. I couldn’t make selfish choices anymore. I had a daughter.


    So whatever Nichs unlocked in me tonight, needed to be locked up again.


    I had to put him totally out of my mind.


    But as I pressed my fingers against my lips, I didn’t know how I would ever be able to forget the passion he had shown me tonight.


    I wondered if he was still thinking of me, too.