Chapter 122
For a moment, I sat there in shock, looking at Elva and her wide, earnest eyes.
Nichs wasn’t exactly thest person I thought she’d say. He had been visiting her a lottely, he
always seemed to make time for her. But I would have thought Santa us or the Easter Bunny would
have taken higher priority for a three year old
My face burned hot at the implication that Nichs would well, we would have to be married for
Nichs to be Elva’s father, wouldn’t we?
I cleared my throat. “Um, Elva, honey Nichs can’t be your dad
Elva tilted her head. “Why not?”
“Someday he’s going to have his own family to take care of His own wife, and his own kids. He won’t
have time to spend with you and me
Elva’s shoulders slumped “Why?”
“We won’t be living here anymore then, and he’d have to travel away from them to see us. You wouldn’t
want him to make his family sad, just so he’de to see us?
“But I’ll be sad
Her face fell and my heart ached.
“Someday, I’ll find a nice man that wants to be a part of our family, Elva And he’ll be the best dad you
could ever hope for ”
She looked down to the ground. “But I want Nickss”
I
I wished there was more I could say tofort her. I understood her attachment to Nichs He was a
good man. The best, maybe. He was good with Elva. He was honest and kind.
I imagined he would make an excellent husband. I remembered our days together. He was ambitious
and strong willed with the rest of the world, but he alwayspromised with me. He was generous with
both his time and his money
Even on nights after we fought with one another, we would always make up before we went to sleep.
“I love you,” he had whispered as he caressed my cheek with his thumb 1 can’t sleep knowing you are
unhappy”
Bringing my image of that caring man into a future where we would be married and taking care of Elva?
C
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Then he’d bid her goodnight ande to me We’d hold each other through the night, just as we had
done in the past, when one of us or the other snuck into the other’s room
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I remembered how warm he was it haunted me
I blinked, pulling myself back into the present There, I chastised myself for thinking of Nichs that way
ether. And for good reasons, too
It was clear we would never be together. And for good reasons, too
I
Nicholes was a prince if I had known that three years ago, maybe I would have never pursued him then
either Our hearts had been so close, but our social sses were so far apart, he might as well have
been
standing on the moon
Tm sorry, Elva,” I told her now, pulling her into a hug “Unfortunately, sometimes these things just don’t
work out. It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s just impossible.”
Her thin arms wrapped around my neck and she held me in return. Had she known I needed a hug
too?
“We’ll survive,” said “Just like we always have before”
Elva sniffled a little. “Okay, Mommy”
That night, the other girls and I were sharing the kitchen to prepare our food items for the garden party
Linda still wasn’t speaking to me, so we hadn’t been able to pair our selections as well as the other
girls. However, I could guess that she had chosen some kind of egg appetizer, since she had been so
fond of
those during our earlier meeting
Since she was picking something with protein, I decided to pick a more veggie–type food. I scoured the
cook books, skipping the ones that sounded tooplicated, and settled on stuffed mushrooms.
I set to making the mushrooms, then I waited my turn for the ovens
When the oven beeped, I withdrew my piping hot stuffed mushrooms and turned to ce them on the
counter for them to cool
They smelled delicious. The appearance was a bitcking on some of the mushrooms. I would put
those ones in the back of the disy
Still, I felt proud I couldn’t wait for them to cool, so I could try one to test the taste.