Chapter 67


    If that partner was me, I would…


    No. I shouldn’t go down that path, even within the safe confines of my mind.


    Nichs and I would never be together again. I had too many secrets that he would never understand.


    Even if he knew the truth, even if he’d understood, he’d never agree with the choices I had made.


    If he knew what I’d given away, he would never look at me the same way.


    When Elva appeared for her lunch, she shouted from across the room. “Nickss!” Then she ran


    through. the line, crawled under the table, and threw her arms out wide for a hug.


    Nichs leaned down to oblige. His smile was so warm, my chest ached.


    If only Elva and I could have this all the time.


    After lunch, and after Nichs and I finished cleaning up, we joined the children out on the yground.


    I pushed some of the kids on the swings, while Nichs y–chased the children around the grassy


    lawn. He roared, pretending to be a monster. The children shouted with fake fear, broken with fits of


    giggling.


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    Elva herself often broke the illusion by running up to Nichs and demanding. “You’re not a monster.


    You’re Nickss!”


    Nichs swooped her up into his arms and spun her around, while she cheered andughed.


    I’d never heard her so happy in her life. I could have cried bittersweet tears, so happy that she had this,


    so sad she would lose it.


    Finally, Nichs let the kids tackle him down to the ground.


    Mark called from the sidelines, “Do you need assistance, sir?”


    Nichs pointed at him. “Ah, there! A new monster approaches, even more harrowing than thest!”


    The kids immediately took to the new game, running and y–fighting with Mark.


    With them distracted, Nichs rolled up off the ground and walked to me near the swing set. He patted


    away much of the grass debris from his pants, but the back of his shirt was covered in it.


    “May I?” I asked, motioning to his back.


    “Is it bad?”


    “Don’t make promises,” he teased, then turned his back to me. I brushed away the grass and dirt.


    Only when I had finished did I realize the potential weight of what I had just done. I had touched him so


    casually. We had teased each other.


    For a brief moment, everything had felt just like it had three years ago.


    Nichs must have noticed as well. His posture shifted, straightening. His smile slipped away.


    “We should head back soon,” he said.


    I agreed. We needed to end this fantasy as soon as we could. It was too dangerous, wanting what we


    had once but could never have again.


    We needed to return to our reality. A prince and amoner, with a canyon of secrets and


    misunderstandings between us, toorge to cross.


    “We can ride back together,” Nichs said.


    “Thank you.”


    The ride home, we sat mostly in silence. Elva slept soundly, having worn herself out with y. She was


    curled into Nichs’s side, with his arm wrapped protectively around her.


    Outside, clouds were beginning to gather. In the distance, the sky was dark.


    The fear I’d pushed down for the day began to once more coil within my chest. Tomorrow would likely


    be the day of my punishment.


    “Looks like rain,” I said.


    Nichs’s jaw clenched.


    “Guess there’s no escaping it.” Iughed a little.


    He red at me. “It’s not amusing.”


    “I have tough, or I won’t survive. What would you rather I do? Cry?”


    “No” He frowned deeply. “I’d rather you not have to do this at all.”


    I wasn’t entirely surprised by his words. After all, I knew the kindness in his heart. I’d seen it today,


    when


    he’d yed with the children. Still, I hadn’t been sure it would have extended to me.


    “I thought you would have enjoyed seeing me punished,” I said.


    His gaze fell away from me.


    “If you believe that, then you never really knew me at all.”