Hugh didn''t like the arson part of my plan even though it seemed really unlikely the fire would spread, and didn''t want to cause a diplomatic incident by lying to (or attacking) any government officials. After workshopping it a bit, we ended up with a plan that was flimsy and reckless - in other words, very on-brand for me. While I''d been trying to be a little less impulsive especially in situations that could get me killed, I had to deal with these guys somehow and not being able to beat them in a fair fight or risk getting caught meant it was the impulsive plan or running away. This situation simply didn''t have a calm and responsible option. I did lie to Hugh a bit about the risks involved, and either he believed me or he just went with it anyway.


    Right now, Hugh was standing by the back of the jail with the wagon I had brought. Dopey was sniffing at the back of Hugh''s head, not seeming bothered by being made to drag the wagon along all by herself, and someone from the courthouse was talking to Hugh while flipping through forms and making some notes. We''d waited to approach until we saw the bounty hunters emerging from the jungle since we wanted the stables open when they arrived, but I was a little worried they would stop for a drink before noticing us or something. Whether they wanted to get business out of the way first or just didn''t drink we lucked out, and just as Hugh had promised it was only a minute or two before we saw them coming down the street.


    They''d stabled their mounts, these ridiculous rhinoceros looking things, a few streets away. The four bounty hunters looked tired, two in particular seeming like they''d been through the wringer. They had been searching for me out in the jungle, probably running into all sorts of wild animals and thorny plants. As one pulled ahead and approached Hugh I stared - I knew him. It took me a moment to think of why, though. It was Kraiklin, the first mercenary we''d met with in Good Charl. He''d mentioned that his team sometimes took bounties, and we''d left Good Charl in a hurry because Halenvar was offering a bounty for me - had they been trying to catch us ever since?


    "Old man," Kraiklin said, "did you find the girl or just her wagon?"


    He looked a bit rumpled, like he had been out on a bender the night before. His companions looked just as shifty as him, and were clearly trying to look bored even though I could tell they were on alert.


    "Ah," Hugh said as if he''d just noticed them, "My friends. I have located her and have the situation under control. I''m afraid you''ll be going home empty handed, yes?"


    Kraiklin sniffed. "Is she in the cell inside? I''d pay you to let us ask her a few questions first."


    "A tempting offer, but no. She is nearby, but not in the cell."


    I felt exposed, standing there in the middle of the street watching them talk about me. I knew, logically, that they couldn''t see me since my actual body was tucked into an alley twenty feet away from where I was standing - but it didn''t feel that way.


    Kraiklin stepped even closer to Hugh, looming a bit without being overtly threatening. "Well how about you get her, and we can make a deal."


    "A deal?" Hugh said, his eyes sparking, "Yes, of course. To tell the truth, I am more interested in the other two - despite the lower bounty. If you agree officially, for the clerk here who happens to be in charge of these things, then we could make a deal to trade."


    "And you would release Smith and her wagons?"


    The wagons were a bit of an odd point. How each town handled bounties varied based on which government was in charge of the city and which one had issued the bounty in the first place. In this case the wagons weren''t explicitly called out in the bounty and when Errod and Katrin had been grabbed they were just walking around, so while the bounty hunters tried to just declare they were taking everything the two had they didn''t have a clear claim to anything. Had that wagon stayed put it might have ended up being property of the stable owner once some time passed without them returning for it, but instead Hugh had declared it part of an ongoing investigation and had it locked up at the jail.


    He didn''t really have the authority to do that, but he had a letter from the office of the Primarch of Erathik that seemed to grant him certain leeway even though - to the best of my understanding - it was more of a courtesy than a requirement. That left the two sides arguing over who should get the wagon, so the official decision had been that either Hugh or the bounty hunters could take everything if they could just agree on it. Hugh had explained that this was really just to appear reasonable and the town didn''t think the others would come to an agreement - which would mean they could keep it themselves. So the town, Hugh, and the bounty hunters all wanted our shit.


    "The wagons and all gear I would keep, yes?"


    Kraiklin''s buddy sneered. "That''s ridiculous."


    Hugh just smiled calmly, clearly unconcerned. "Well, this wagon is in my sole possession - as is Calliope Smith. And if I refuse to negotiate with you the other wagon will be claimed by the town and you will get only the other two bounties. So you will not receive the wagons regardless, yes? You can make this deal, right now with our clerk friend listening, or we can go our separate ways."


    The bounty hunters all looked furious, and two of them in particular seemed to be sizing Hugh up - but Kraiklin clearly had at least a little common sense, because he waved them back and then all of them stalked across the street to furiously whisper back and forth. I tried to listen, but I was already at the very edge of my divination range. Finally they broke and walked back to Hugh and the clerk. "Fine," Kraiklin snapped, "bring her here and we can do this."


    "Ah, sadly I have a boat to catch, yes? I will give you her location and -"


    "You''ve got to be fucking kidding me. There''s no way I''m going to agree to that. You can take the others and the wagons once we have her."


    Hugh nodded. "A compromise, then. I will take nothing until a clerk, like my friend here, has confirmation that my information was accurate, yes?"


    "Confirmation meaning we have her."


    "Ah, but you might fuck everything up, yes? What if you have her and she slips through your grasp? I will tell you precisely where she is, you will confirm that it was accurate and that you saw her with your own two eyes, and then I will take the rest."


    He hesitated, narrowing his eyes as if he knew it was a trick. After all, it did sound shady, but saying no ran the risk of not getting to make a deal at all. "It''s our word, not yours. And we''re not going to say it''s her if we just see some speck in the distance."


    "No, my friends, I would never expect you to. We have an agreement?"


    "Yes, fine."


    This was where the ridiculous part of the plan started. Hugh would have to fast talk or bribe the clerk, the bounty hunters would have act right away rather than - just for example - playing dumb and then calling the deal off, and as soon as I dropped divination I would have no idea what was going on with Hugh. Worst of all, I would have to count on my least reliable teammate. "This is important, do you understand? This isn''t a game."


    Hiss, said Shitheel.


    "If you throw me off your back or just refuse to move or whatever then I''m fucked, and honestly you might be fucked too. Do it out of selfishness. Okay?"


    Shitheel turned away from me and snorted.


    "No, I couldn''t use Dopey. She''s too skittish. I need you. Now just... be good. You know, good? That thing you hate?"


    Shitheel began gnawing on his chain again, and attempting to hook it over his bony head to better pull the stake out of the ground. I sighed, checked the latch to be sure I could release the chain quickly, and peeked around the corner. Hugh was already pointing, so I stepped out into the street. "Hey clerk guy - I''m Calliope Smith, and I''ve been captured by Hugh, and I''m in his custody. Hello Kraiklin! Did you ever get that medicine for the boils on your dick?"


    Thankfully they didn''t hesitate, and started charging towards me - one splitting off down a side street to catch me if I attempted to circle back around. I jumped onto Shitheel''s back and released the chain, and he sprung into action by immediately trying to throw me to the ground.


    "No! Fuck you! Shitheel, fucking run!" There was a spot kind of between his jaw and his earhole that had a sort of wattle, and I grabbed tightly and twisted it. He shrieked. "That''s right. I''ve seen you do this to the others when they won''t listen. I''m the boss. Got it?" He didn''t, at all, and slammed me against the wall. I twisted again, getting another shriek from him, and leaned close to his ear. "Listen to me you piece of shit, those fuckers are going to be here any second. Run or I''ll kill you myself."


    I didn''t for a second believe that he understood the words, but something must have sunk in because out of nowhere he stopped fighting and took off - the bounty hunters were close now, but there was no way they could keep up with Shitheel. I felt gravity start to go all strange but just for a moment, and so it seemed like we had been right at the edge of the range. A cart full of fruit was blocking our way and so we ducked down a side alley and emerged onto another street where a cart full of fruit was... wait.


    It was the same fucking cart. We kept running, down another - or the same? - alleyway, and sure enough ended up in the street with the fruit cart again. Shitheel hissed and shook his head, clearly noticing the anomaly. I was tempted to try and coax him to climb over the cart, but we''d likely take a spill and I was worried that he wouldn''t let me back on him again. Instead I wheeled him around to face the bounty hunters. I knew it was risky, but the one that was doing the spatial manipulation had to be close and I didn''t want to just let him box us into a loop. "Remember tag, Shitheel? Let''s get ''em."


    I only saw the one bounty hunter, which seemed like a good thing but actually just made me nervous. Where were the others? What were they doing? If they were keeping Hugh from loading Errod and Katrin onto a boat we were in trouble, and if they were coming up from behind me somehow that wasn''t great either. Regardless, I aimed Shitheel right at him and thankfully the dumbass screamed in anger and swung a club at us. If he''d cowered or dodged, Shitheel probably would have just scared him since - for all his aggression and stubbornness - he wasn''t actually a mean animal.


    But with that club swinging, Shitheel paused only a moment to turn his bony head and take the first hit in a way that couldn''t injure him and then I felt his muscles bunching up underneath me and he shot forward like a piston. That battering ram head slammed into the bounty hunter and sent him flying, and I pulled hard on the reins to get Shitheel turned around again so we could keep running. "Good boy. Fuck those guys."


    We made it to the edge of town and stopped for a moment by that same boulder I''d parked the wagon behind earlier. I needed Shitheel to have a moment to rest, and I also wanted to be sure we were being pursued so that Hugh could do his part. With my adrenaline pumping the flight through the town felt like it had taken half an hour or more, but I knew it had been less than six minutes; there was no way Hugh had had time to get onto the boat yet. Still, the first part of the plan had essentially worked so far as I could tell.


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    I waited, jittering with nervousness and feeling that energy seeping into Shitheel who began to pace anxiously, and finally I saw the bounty hunters approaching in the distance - they''d gone to retrieve their mounts. Good. They spotted me and burst into a gallop, and the one Shitheel had hit immediately slowed while clutching his chest. Yeah, bouncing up and down in a saddle probably hurt like hell for him, there was no way he didn''t have broken ribs. None of the others looked injured, which meant they hadn''t tried anything on Hugh.


    I let them get a little closer and then spurred Shitheel into action, directing him off into the jungle. The rhino things were a little bigger and clumsier than Shitheel, but narrower and more agile than an Earth rhinoceros. That meant I could pretty easily stay ahead, but could keep them close without it looking too suspicious. I watched for landmarks I''d seen that morning, weaving among the trees and occasionally turning to watch my pursuers. One was gone, leaving his mount behind, but I hadn''t seen where he had gotten to.


    It had been maybe twelve minutes since I had started running and I was almost out of space to work in before I had to trigger the next part of the plan, so I just crossed my fingers that Hugh had been able to get the clerk moving quickly. The boat had already been prepped ahead of time and wasn''t far from the jail, so it all came down to how well he could talk his way past any paperwork.


    I felt gravity start to go wonky again and Shitheel instinctively bit the tree next to him and dug in his claws, but I could tell we were going to go flying upwards. Gravity was pulling me upwards but weakly, which meant that Shitheel didn''t just immediately get yanked free from the tree and go tumbling into the sky. My perspective was shifting so I seemed to be hanging from a dinosaur over an endless drop, and I felt a seed of panic growing inside me. I was about to turn and look at my pursuers when I remembered that one was missing, and if he had gravity manipulation... I scanned the trees around us instead, and sure enough the fucker was up in one of them.


    I wanted to throw a knife, but was suddenly unsure of how to aim it - ''down'' was above me, but only for a few feet in either direction probably. With the distance he was at I would normally make some subtle adjustment for gravity, right? The thing was, it was all instinctive at this point - I''d learned over time by practicing, but I couldn''t afford to take a practice shot this time because I had to catch him by surprise. I suddenly regretted not having leveled up probability magic. I knew I couldn''t just wait around though, so I released my legs - dangling upwards by one hand on Shitheel''s harness - and threw my knife as hard as I could.


    It didn''t hit where I wanted, barely clipping his upper arm. Thankfully the dumbass was wearing an armored vest that left his limbs unprotected and so when the force enchantment triggered the knife went all the way out the other side - not the most damaging injury, but plenty startling enough to fuck up his concentration. We crashed down, Shitheel almost falling on me, and I scrambled onto his back before he could recover and decide he didn''t want a rider anymore.


    He ran off eagerly through the trees, clearly understanding at this point that we were being pursued. I knew I had to start the last part of the plan now, whether or not I''d bought Hugh enough time. They were just too close to me. I burst through out of the underbrush and was finally on a nice clear trail, giving me a chance to get some distance between me and the bounty hunters. I could hear them emerging from the jungle just a few seconds later, but they were too late, even if they didn''t know it yet.


    Shitheel''s nostrils flared but he kept running, the only one of our four moskar that I knew would be brave enough to do so. Would the bounty hunter''s mounts refuse to follow, or would they ignore the smell that now filled the air? I was hoping for the latter, since if they stopped chasing me now it was likely I''d be killed. I spared a glance backwards and two of the mounts were in hot pursuit. One had two riders, the gravity guy''s mount apparently having fallen behind, and the one with spatial magic was nowhere to be seen. Good enough.


    There was a warning hoot from up ahead, and then some more from behind - my unwitting reinforcements had noticed us. In response, I started hooting as well, more frantically. If I was right about what I''d seen when Errod did it, that would be enough for them to start off focusing on the others - although it didn''t mean they wouldn''t also try to kill me for cutting through their territory. The first tixmin lunged out from ahead of me, but the cat-faced giant gorilla started off with a threat rather than attacking - it beat its chest and bared its fangs at me, but didn''t act fast enough to get in Shitheel''s way.


    Sure enough, as another jumped down from a tree ahead it looked from me to the bounty hunters, and between me calling out a warning and the others being a larger group it erred on the side of hurling a fucking boulder at the rhinos. The stink was suddenly overwhelming, and I saw the main tixmin camp - nest? den? whatever - off to our right as Shitheel ran faster than I had ever seen an animal move. He hissed at the beasts as we passed them, like a driver flipping someone off on the highway, and then we were back in the trees as the sounds of violence erupted behind us.


    I looked back and saw one of the gigantic monsters chasing, but a juvenile - its scars looking awful familiar - tugged its arm and redirected it towards the bounty hunters who would now be much closer to where the children were playing. Trusting Shitheel to keep running, I twisted all the way around to see if I could tell what was going on, and caught a glimpse of the gravity one flying up above the canopy trying to dodge huge rocks and entire trees; he''d have his hands full just trying to get his friends out of there, and I was already getting way ahead of him.


    I angled towards the Nubasarri river and found a clearing on the banks, then slid off of Shitheel and stood there panting. Shitheel looked around nervously, and then began drinking while keeping one eye on the jungle. I gave him some neck scritches as I told him - probably for the first time ever - that he was the best and had done an amazing job. I stepped away and onto a rocky outcrop that gave a better view of the river and could see a boat approaching. I hadn''t seen Kalyssi''s boat from the front, so I just crossed my fingers it was her and that Hugh had gotten everyone aboard.


    "That was a neat trick," a voice said from the edge of the trees. I spun around, reaching for a knife, but almost immediately I felt the air pressure increase and saw a strange distortion in front of me. I''d been sealed in a force cage. It was Kraiklin, and he was pretty banged up - one arm was hanging limp, and there was blood dripping out of his pant leg.


    "Where are your friends? Shouldn''t you be off helping them?"


    "Oh, we weren''t really friends," he said, voice muffled somewhat by the wall of force between us, "and this way I get to keep the whole bounty for myself. My cousin has some questions for you, but if you won''t answer them there''s good news - Halenvar will accept your corpse."


    "I don''t know or care who your cousin is, and Halenvar is done, dude. They lost. Who do you think is going to pay you? Are you going to just walk through the Endless Empire''s army with my body and... what, head to the prison where they''re keeping the king?"


    "No, little one. The king isn''t the one that put out the bounty. That was the Behemoth, and he''s not locked up. He wants you as a trophy."


    "Eh, he''s just pissed that my friends kicked his ass and killed Telen. But hey, if you think you''ll fare better than Halenvar''s two best soldiers I guess you can try your luck. Maybe my friends will let you live, who knows?"


    There was a tiny flicker of surprise or concern on his face, but it passed quickly. I wasn''t even sure if he believed me, although the fact that the Behemoth had essentially put a hit out on me must lend a little credibility. Too late I realized it might have been better to appeal to his greed and try to pay him off, something I wasn''t used to being able to do. Anyway, it didn''t seem likely it would have worked with him looking so eager to kill me. He pulled out a sword and placed the tip against the force cage, then smiled wickedly. "I''m going to -"


    "Oh god, seriously? You''re going to do the whole speech about enjoying this and watching me bleed out slowly, aren''t you? For fucks sake. Grow up."


    He looked confused, and paused for a moment. "You should be a bit more concerned about what''s about to happen."


    "Sure, but I know a few things you don''t. First of all, I was stabbed and left to bleed out a few months ago and yeah, it sucked, but honestly compared to some of the menstrual cramps I''ve had it''s like... eh. And second, you''re about to get your ass kicked because you weren''t paying attention to what was behind you."


    He rolled his eyes, probably assuming I was making shit up. Of course I''d seen Shitheel take notice of the sword when he pulled it out, and watched as he had gotten into his defensive position - defensive being ''aggressive but not quite yet'' when it came to Shitheel. In a perfect world Kraiklin would have gotten rammed to death right as he rolled his eyes, but instead Shitheel was still just sitting there coiled to attack. Thankfully the bounty hunter did finally turn to look and - upon seeing Shitheel looking hostile - made the absolute worst decision and took a swing.


    The sword cut surprisingly deep into that bony plate on the front of Shitheel''s head, and the bounty hunter threw a force shield up to handle the counterattack - but when Shitheel slammed into it the bounty hunter grunted as if struck and looked surprised. Inspired, I began hitting the walls around me as hard as I could in case it weakened him or drained extra mana, though I suspected there was some threshold I needed to cross to do anything.


    The bounty hunter swung again at Shitheel but missed, and then had to use another shield to keep from being crushed in return. I felt something, the air pressure going back to normal along with an increase in the sounds around me - he''d opened up the wall somewhere to spare some mana. The barrier was still there, clearly, but it seemed to stop at my shins. If I had a little more room I could have gotten down on my hands and knees and maybe squeezed free, but there wasn''t really enough space to work with. Still, I did my best to scrunch down so I could reach under the gap, not that it did me any good. I couldn''t throw a knife like that, and couldn''t reach anything. Worse, after a moment the cage shrank from above so I couldn''t even stand back up. Well, shit.


    Shitheel shrieked as he was slashed again, and backed away nervously.


    "Okay, let''s just deal with you - maybe your pet will back off once you''re dead." Kraiklin marched over to me and raised his sword, and I felt another gap appear in the force wall that would allow him to run me through. I thought there was maybe a chance I could stab him in the hand once it was closer, but since it would only be closer as a result of the sword being inside me that didn''t seem like it would help much - I was wearing my bulletproof jacket but I''d never tested it, and with me trapped he could probably just reposition the opening until he found a more vulnerable bit of me. Thankfully he had to dodge, as Shitheel miraculously took offense to the threat and charged once more.


    The gap stayed open, and I wiggled around to get an arm out. The angle was terrible, but with him retreating a few steps from Shitheel''s onslaught and me finally having a way to move my whole arm I took a chance and threw a knife. It was a ridiculously bad shot and barely hit him, nearly going between his legs and missing entirely. Instead it hit his left calf and caused him to stumble, at which point he barely threw a shield up in time to stop Shitheel''s head and didn''t see the follow-up kick coming. He howled in pain, and the barrier around me vanished.


    He stabbed into Shitheel, who shrieked and pulled back, but before he could stand or even get into position to swing again I was on top of him - I pushed his sword arm away and headbutted him, feeling his nose break. It was a perfect shot which meant the pain to my forehead was minimal, and I followed it up with a throat punch. I''d been warned never to hit anyone in the throat in a fight since it was way too easy to kill someone by mistake, but considering the fact that this guy wanted to murder me I wasn''t super concerned.


    He threw me off and scrambled back like a crab, gurgling from either the bloody nose or a damaged windpipe. Shitheel seemed to be badly hurt from that last stab but was eager to finish things, and the bounty hunter clearly couldn''t force cage us both - so he put a wall up around himself and ran into the jungle. I wondered if there was any chance he could escape the tixmin in his condition. It seemed... unlikely. Even if he did, I had to hope he was humiliated and scared enough he wouldn''t want to fuck with me again.


    I breathed a sigh of relief as the boat came into view and pulled close to the shore, Katrin and Errod waving from the deck. Shitheel was, for once, perfectly docile as we loaded him up - although he fought like hell when we tried to get him onto the healing platform that we had laboriously dragged out of the wagon, damaging the door in the process. Hugh had to pin him down, but after the healing started to kick in Shitheel seemed to get the message and stayed put just barely long enough to get the stab wound in his side mostly healed. He didn''t let us do it properly, but at least he wouldn''t bleed to death or get an infection.


    "Well," Hugh said, "the plan did not go so well as you hoped, but also not as bad as I feared. You did not end up where you indicated, I was supposed to meet you further upstream to assist if needed."


    "Oh. Well, I guess my geography was off. It''s fine."


    Hugh frowned. "I should not have allowed this. I underestimated their strength."


    "It''s fine, Hugh."


    "You are always seemingly on the verge of getting yourself killed, yes?"


    "I know, I know. But I always live."


    "So far. Not forever."


    "Well, it all worked out this time. I''m fine, and I didn''t even get stabbed."


    Hugh smiled, the look predatory and sinister. "Not so fast - the stabbing is yet to come, yes?"


    I took an involuntary step back. "Excuse me?"


    "You made a promise, Calliope Smith. Stand still." And Hugh held up my golden nose ring. Oh, right.