Chapter 195: What Shouldn’t Be


    The family’s introduction was not entirely so smooth, and Nara was repeatedly reminded why she was an introvert. A few people in particular came to her for every little question, when she had given them 3 perfectly good books that answered all of those questions. It went something like this:


    “Nora, how can you choose what ability you get?”


    “You can’t.”


    “Yeah, but I--”


    “It’s in the book.”


    Or:


    “What’s a meridian?”


    “Did you read the book?”


    “Yes--”


    “Don’t lie.”


    Once it was well established that Nara would not answer any questions that could be answered by the books, she was finally left alone. She held a new appreciation for teachers and what they did; Nara did not have the patience to answer any one question seven different times. It’s why she had picked out these three books with Sage’s guidance (and why she did not want to become a teacher.)


    Eventually everyone, including her sister, took to the books with vigor. They were a family of academics, after all, with everyone obtaining a college degree, although that was almost a requirement in the modern age. Elizabeth had even been a double major and double minor, something that Nara had not accomplished. Unlike Nara, Elizabeth was easily externally and internally motivated. It was one of the good aspects of her sister, her ability to work hard, and Nara had to remind herself not to be too harsh on them all. She was happy to see them, no matter the frustrations of family and her strange new situation.


    She had also offered up her crystal recordings to play—her kid-friendly ones—that the family had taken to watch in the evenings, strange as it was to see herself from an outside perspective.


    It was one such evening, of course, that Nara was reminded of another annoyance of family. The recording in question was one of the early ones, before the full team had formed, of Encio showing her around Aviensa.


    “He’s cute,” her mother said in a suspicious way that only mothers could.


    “He’s considered very attractive even by the other world’s standards,” Nara acknowledged in what she hoped sounded like pure aesthetic appreciation


    “You were there for a year and a half,” her mother fished, “was there any…nice men—or women,” she corrected, since while her mother was very traditional in her views of procreation, she’d still rather her daughter date at all, “that…you were interested in?” she said, ending on a hopeful lilt.


    “Mom,” Nara groaned. “I wasn’t really thinking about dating. Trying to find a way back here and all.” And fight a bunch of monsters in order to do it, went unsaid.


    “Well,” her mother gaze her a once over, “I always said you were beautiful then—”


    “All moms say their kids are beautiful—”


    “—But I think it’d be even easier now.” Her hand shot out and squeezed Nara’s bicep—


    Nara gently slapped her hand away.


    “Muscles weren’t what my generation liked on women, but its very attractive nowadays,” her mother said with false innocence. “And what did the book say, the magic makes you more beautiful?”


    “Something like that, the theories on it are pretty interesting—”


    She managed to get her mother to drop the topic, although her penetrating gaze made it known that it wasn’t over.


    Nara resolved to never let her mother know what Fertility could do for same sex and even different race couples. Or perhaps, the fact that Fertility could provide another kid for her mother past her childbearing years could distract her from the genetic dead end that was Nara.


    Oskar and Eva’s company she found very enjoyable. Oskar was cynical and cautious on the surface, but underneath it all Nara could sense his excitement—literally, in his aura. He was the best at hiding it, remaining level-headed outwardly, although the sparkle in his wife’s eyes meant she knew otherwise. He was friendly but awkward, but also sensitive, although perhaps, Nara’s standards for sensitivity were low in comparison to her sister, whose every compliment seemed a little backhanded.


    “What are you so worried about?” Oskar asked. “You’re strict with us—which I get. This whole thing…is a whole thing.”


    Nara shifted on the couch. “Just unused to things, thinking about practicalities and culture. The culture in the other world is different. There’s more of an emphasis on personal responsibility. The letter of the law is less important than the intent of the action. When individuals have the power of tanks or bombs, it’s not as simple. None of you are particularly bad people—although my dad, I worry about my dad—but I am trying to take responsibility for my actions. Giving family essences is the norm of the other world, but it is not here. It’s unbalanced.


    “My sister is...well, you’ve met her.”


    Oskar nodded.


    Nara didn’t want to say anything bad about her sister, or predispose her step-family to dislike her, although after her coma, they’ve probably been around each other long enough to form their own independent opinions. “I just worry. I can’t be watching all the time. I don’t want to be watching all the time. But I can’t really help but feel she might, uh, break Rule 2.


    “And maybe nothing bad will happen. Or maybe she doesn’t break Rule 2.” Nara rubbed her head. “But if she does, then I have to think about whether I’m going to go through with what I threatened.


    “And maybe it’s a bit ‘worrying about things that haven’t happened’, but what if something worse happens—not even from her but anybody I give magic to? Ultimately, if someone does bad things with your magic, it will mainly be on them, but a part of it will be on me for giving magic to the wrong people. It’s a bit difficult to know where to draw the line—should I be fair to people I dislike or don’t fully trust? How controlling am I allowed to be?


    “Like, for my dad, I don’t think I’ll let him have anything but a support or healer essence set.”


    Nara worried that she was being too controlling. She loved her family—didn’t necessarily like all of them but you could love someone and not like someone—but she didn’t also trust all of them to make great decisions when it came to magical power. And, unlike Erras, she didn’t know what guardrails there were to curb harmful actions. Until she found out, she had to be the guiderails of power.


    Maybe she was jumping the gun in giving her family magic. But she did feel some amount of filial obligation, to those she liked and loved or loved but not liked, to give them an opportunity for health, a longer lifespan, and safety.


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    Oskar had read enough by then to know what she meant and nodded.


    “He’s never been violent, doesn’t even own a gun, but another part of me doesn’t want to give too much power who believes that women shouldn’t have bodily autonomy on the basis of religion. Or, who genuinely believes that the opposition party drinks the blood of children to extend their life, or that everyone who took a vaccine will have serious health complications in 3 years? Where do I draw the line? Do I decide to only give essences to those who agree with my politics? Do I exclude him from something I’m giving to the rest of family?”


    As my father that I still love, is it better or worse for him if I do?


    “You’ve given this a lot of thought,” Eva warmly supplied, although her comment was ultimately neutral. She was evaluating, in a nice way. She seemed thoughtful in a way few people were—Nara supposed her job as a PR Manager meant she knew to be careful with her words.


    “I’ve had a few weeks to do nothing but. The education of essences users in the other world is more thorough, and there’s already established power. If someone clearly evil—a serial killer on a massive scale—is approaching gold rank or the rank above that, the higher rankers investigate and...well, the decide if that person should still be around or not.”


    “Conversely, that sounds like it could easily become tyrannical,” Oskar commented, disapproval evident.


    Nara shrugged. “Don’t be a serial killer. It’s not that strict either—there''s still plenty of do-nothing and dead-weight politicians around.”


    “Then…is it more about personal responsibility and moral responsibility?” Oskar theorized.


    “Perhaps ethically, in this world, doing something like that would be wrong. You should leave it to the justice system. In that world, letting a serial killer go when you know about it and have the power to stop it would be a failure of your responsibility to society. Most of time though, the Society handles it.”


    “The Adventure Society.” He had read about it in both Introduction to Essence Magic and Essence Users and Society books. From its prevalence as well as its mention in Nora’s strange crystal videos, it was an important part of the other world’s society.


    “Yes. So, most of the time, there’s no conflict. If someone takes matters into their own hands, the Adventure Society launches an investigation, and they determine ‘justification’, loosely speaking. It gets complicated the higher up you go, of course. Do you kill the despot and destabilize the region? Matters that are political are left to those with the political know-how. There’s checks and balances, like any functioning society. The Adventure Society won’t post assassination contracts, as a policy, because that sort of decision making isn’t encouraged, and like any matter it’s more complicated than what I can describe…but I heard that it does happen. If a despot is weak enough—not gold or diamond—and they’ve done such heinous shit that its obvious and people know about it, then a particularly pissed passing gold ranker may just off them because they’ve had enough of people screaming in the streets or fearing for their lives in the safety of their homes.”


    A companionable silence fell over the three as they worked it out, the sound of pages flipping a soothing cadence to the quiet house. Oskar had read fast, and Nara’s quizzes had determined he had indeed read through books 1 and 2, and he was only book 3, the one he was most excited about.


    “How did you choose your essence set?” he asked, unable to help his curiosity. “There’s way too many to choose from.”


    “Took a sneak peak of book 3?” she asked wryly. If Nara had to choose for herself without her Guide’s suggestion, she totally would have been the same. Can’t help but dreaming about what you’re working for.


    “Couldn’t help it,” he admitted, echoing her thoughts. “It’s just—builds and character sheets! Specializations! Inclinations! The whole thing! And humans and Essence Gifts? I thought humans were lame but Essence Gifts are awesome! Special and unique!” He rolled his eyes at Eva’s fond giggle at his excitement. “Humans—not the most basic race for once.”


    Her mouth quirked, and her tone was warm. “Funny that. My racial ability decided for me.”


    “It can’t do that for me? Not that I want it to.”


    “Unfortunately, you have the burden of making that decision for yourself. Or fortunately, since you’re a free choice kind of guy. Given what I know about you, having something decide for you might be taking the fun out of it.”


    “You are right about that,” he said, as his mind whirled about possible futures for himself. He was already noting a few combinations down, creating a few columns for himself as Nara peeked at his paper. A column for ‘Known and Interesting’ and another for ‘Unknown but Cool’. There was a fair selection on each side, properly weighing the advantages of choosing a popular combination with a lot of supporting literature and resulting builds and the cool factor of choosing something relatively unknown. Considering that there wouldn’t be specialized teachers to work through a known combo, which was one of the advantages of choosing such a combination, there was less of a difference between the two on Earth. The only differences lay in what her books provided.


    “I think with your experience,” Eva said, intelligent and insightful, “you surely have some advice for us about choosing?”


    Smart cookie. “Good question. You remind me of someone.” She paused for a moment, as if pinning down the experience in her mind and forming it into words. Nara decided to explain something that the books would not—the books discussed advice for essence selection in depth already, and even included some of the theories and Erras’ societal relevant reasons; Some churches had negative views of certain essences, such as the Purity Church and the Sin and Dark essences, or the Magic Society may look down on those without a magically inclined ability set.


    “The books say that abilities don’t influence you, but that isn’t entirely true.” (She wouldn’t expand on that entirely, but there was something else she could say). “Think of it this way: what you do everyday shapes a part of who you are. Doctors get used to bodily fluids, flesh, and organs in a way that normal people will never.”


    Eva made a commiserating noise of agreement. “Not for me.”


    Nara thought she was like that too (mostly for other bodily fluids than blood) until she started killing monsters. Not much choice on what ended up on her in the midst of battle, unless she really wanted to try hard just to avoid flying viscera and monster spittle.


    “Those that engage with science and engineering on a regular basis have a different way of perceiving the world, and a fundamentally deeper understanding of it. Or a farmer, who would consider the weather differently than your average bloke. At least, that’s my mundane take on it.”


    “But I read that what abilities you get is shaped by your personality,” Oskar said. “Says its one of the main theories.”


    She did just test him on that.


    “Aye, but not all abilities perfectly reflect your personality. Would I be different as a healer? It’s an interesting question. Or perhaps I''d use different aspects of my personality as a healer, and I''d use those aspects more often. Bottom line is, consider what you want to spend your time doing. And yet, what I said isn’t entirely true.”


    “You were part of the Adventure Society,” Oskar said, following her logic.


    “Still am,” she corrected. “I slay monsters for a living. Do I think it has significantly changed my day-to-day personality?” She shrugged, its own answer. “How much of my changes are just the result of my other world experiences? How much of it is inherently from my fighting style, or from the essences themselves?”


    “And if I want to be a monster slayer?”


    “Ah…well…we’ll get there when we get there.” She shrugged. “I don’t have an answer for that, not until I''ve grasped the state of magic on Earth, but it is possible I could send you to Erras, if that’s what you really want. It wouldn’t be possible to constantly send you back and forth, so going there would be uprooting your life here. But you could consider that. Something for later.”


    *****


    Nara had been meaning to start on her next task for a while now, but she had barely a moment to herself. With a month-long cooldown, each dimensional portal use was significant.


    The very first use, she’d use for John.


    However, she first needed to make her way to London proper. John had given her his street address, and she’d travel as far and as fast as she could with a combination of Astral Jumping and Node-flying. A flight from Copenhagen to London was only 2 hours, but Nara didn’t know how she could explain to her family the need to go to London, not yet, and John wasn’t even alive in this world like she was.


    Not even in her room would she be entirely unbothered, so she had wandered into the forest surrounding the Str?m family manor and took her first real breath of nature in many days. The forest was a mixture of deciduous and coniferous, and Nara imagined it would alight with reds and oranges during autumn. Old beech trees extended branches heavy with age, and their pointed leaves cut the bright sunlight into, softer, dappled shades. The ground was coated in a layer of green grass, bright and happy and new. Nara leaned against the smooth grey bark of the beech, suddenly immensely glad she was alive and physical.


    She still needed to re-summon Chrome. She wouldn’t leave him without a physical vessel for long, even if he didn’t mind it like she did.


    She slipped into something more meditative, brought about by the peace and quiet she had seldom enjoyed these last few days. She extended her dimension sense, feeling the dimensional boundary of this world.


    She could feel its weakness—inflexible and brittle, unable to flex without breaking. A cage of biscuits, she imagined to herself, an impact would rupture a hole, instead of springing back like a trampoline. Or mozzarella cheese. As her senses wandered, delved deeper, there was something there something recognized. Something there that shouldn’t be.


    *****


    “No,” Nara said, standing upon the top of a far too large, fantastical tree. A forest of magical beech spread in front of her, their leaves a silver-blue instead of the typical, non-magical green. “This is impossible.”  A massive tree interrupted the sea of leaves, stretching upwards like a monolith, winged monsters swooping at its highest branches.


    Earth shouldn’t have any astral spaces.