I woke up in some fuckass metal tube with a glass window hatch and bright green light slowly scanning from one side to another. Like any reasonable person, I crammed myself into a corner to avoid the approaching possible death laser beam, but it ignored my plight and continued to scan the inside of the tube, passing harmlessly through my body.


    I may have overreacted. The scanning light (let’s just call it a scanner) kept bouncing back and forth slowly, so I relaxed and looked out of the hatch instead. “Okay” I said, calming myself down. “Where am I?”


    Peering out through the glass hatch, I could see the inside of a spaceship. It was mostly white with some nice light green highlights. The classic sleek and modern appearance wasn’t really suggestive of one type of spaceship or another.


    There was one other odd thing: The spaceship was huge, and everything inside of it was huge as well. I could make out a table with another metal tube thing on it, but the scale was giant, the table probably about 25 feet tall.


    The tube scanner on the table was clearly bigger than the one I was in, and appeared to be empty. It looked like I was in some kind of laboratory. Dammit, did I get picked up by an insane group who liked to run human (well, fexel) experiments?


    I perked up my ears to listen and started a stretching routine.


    It had been a long time since I had been under the forces of gravity, although I felt lighter than usual. I think it’s probably a quirk of the spaceship, maybe they were saving energy by having less gravitational force.


    While I was doing a hamstring stretch, using my tail for balance, the scanning light stopped. I looked at it for a while, then continued stretching, listening for any changes.


    It was clear the tube had some kind of airlock system, which was why there was no atmosphere inside of it. That was rather unfortunate, as it had been a long while since I had breathed, and I liked the feeling of breathing, regardless of if it was critical for my survival or not. The tube was otherwise nondescript inside, just sleek metal, about 7 feet in diameter, so I had a little wiggle room. There were no handles to open it from inside or anything like that.


    As I was rightfully getting bored of stretching and debating trying to exit the tube, slow, large footsteps started echoing through the room. I tensed up, ready for anything. Was someone coming to arrest me? I’d like to see them try.


    The footsteps got louder and I heard a door open with a hiss. Something walked in, and a massive shadow was cast against the wall. It was moving closer to me, but I couldn’t see who or what it was due to the direction of the glass window in the cylinder. It certainly didn’t seem like a friendly shadow.


    What did I do? I punched the glass pane, hard. It cracked with a hiss, and then the thick glass imploded at the rush of warm air filling the tube, the pressure sending me flying backwards. My ears popped and I took a deep breath, finally able to breathe air. I brushed off the glass shards before jumping through my perfectly made escape route.


    The platform I landed on seemed to be another table, white and shiny and a little slippery. I heard a loud voice and the footsteps approaching got faster, pounding against the floor. I stuck my head around the edge of the now broken scanner tube, looking to see what was approaching, and swore.


    An incoming giant. Gray skin with barely visible scales, four arms, and bright pink hair. It was clearly a humanoid form, but by my rather professional standards, it wasn’t particularly humanoid at all. And please, bright pink hair is tacky and completely out of style.


    The other issue was their size. I was no slouch at about 6 foot 5, counting the ears of course, but I was completely dwarfed. The giant was probably eight times my height. I could probably stand comfortably in its cupped hands.


    Pinky, as I will now call it (him?), was wearing skintight black pants with pink embellishments almost the same color as his hair. It seemed like some type of body suit, except it didn’t cover his chest or arms at all, stopping above his stomach, just kinda floating there somehow. What a stupid design for clothes.


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    I looked down at my own clothes and grimaced. They had survived the heat, radiation of deep space, tractor beam, and being sliced to pieces by glass shards, but “survived” was a bit of an overstatement.


    My clothes were barely holding it together, and I wasn’t much better, being covered in ash and glass dust. What had once been a nice graphic tee was a holy mess, emphasis on the holes, and my pants looked like I had dragged them through a war zone twice, which I guess I kind of did.


    I ran my hands through my hair only to realize my normally pristine white hair was probably ash colored, and shook out some broken glass.


    Well, I had run out of time. Despite being not exactly presentable, I could still be polite. The giant had made its way in front of me and stopped, so I took the opportunity to come out first.


    I smiled and spoke in Intergalactic Common. “Hello big guy, would you mind telling me what the fuck is going on?”


    “??? ???? ???”


    Oh. Uh oh. We do NOT speak the same language. Oh dear lord, how far into space did I fling myself? Intergalactic common is the primary language for a couple thousand light years! Did I really catapult myself all the way across a galaxy, or straight into a neighboring one? Goddamnit.


    The language was an odd combination of sounds, clicks, and some type of magic wave. To put it simply, it was complicated. To put it realistically, it was really fucking complicated. Ohhh boy, this is going to suck.


    The giant and I stared at each other for a few seconds. Pinky was smiling at me, rather awkwardly. All four of his hands were slowly reaching closer. Uh oh.


    I ran. Of course I ran. I booked it for the far edge of the table, looking around quickly. Besides the two huge tables, one wall was completely taken up by a massive lab bench, complete with random science gadgets and shelving. What? I don’t know what they are, why would I know how to describe them?


    The rest of the room was mostly empty, and given the scale the room wasn’t actually that large, it just felt huge to me. I could now see a massive door across from me that Pinky had entered through. I’m not sure if I can jump to reach the doorknob, low gravity or otherwise, let alone push the door open.


    Dammit. I’m stuck in here with him. I’ve decided to call Pinky a him due to the length of his hair and generally muscular appearance, as well as the lack of boobs, but who knows? I sure don’t. Maybe this race of aliens doesn’t even have distinct genders.


    If there were a couple more individuals of Pinky’s… stature, I could probably get a better picture, but I wasn’t really in the mood to run away from multiple giants today. Maybe tomorrow.


    While I was thinking of the appropriate swear words to use, Pinky was fumbling after me, clearly trying to grab me. He spoke intermittently, but all I gathered was “??? ???,” whatever that means. It didn’t matter much, I felt great.


    Now able to breathe oxygen again, and maybe a little light headed with all the blood rushing to my brain, I was practically bouncing around the room, jumping from table to table and scrabbling against their slick surface.


    After a moment of thinking, in which I decided Pinky was male, I leapt to the floor and used Mana to up my speed, running to the opposite corner of the room. Pinky followed rather quickly, given his large build, talking at me and spreading out his arms to prevent my escape.


    A few minutes of what was probably a very funny looking chase sequence later, I was caught. Not that I hadn’t tried everything. I pushed objects off of shelves, tried opening the door, and even threatened to break an expensive looking microscope-thing, not that Pinky understood me. Next time I’d better pantomime the threat instead.


    I got a splitting headache, probably from the stupidity of being unable to communicate. Now held firmly in two of Pinky’s hands, I realized their skin was durable and impossible to scratch.


    I considered trying to bite, but that’s not particularly classy, so I refrained. Waving my tail about angrily, I waited to see what would happen.


    Pinky used one hand to open the door, and called down the hallway before walking out. The final hand was used to pat my head. Maybe I really should bite him. Is the point to humiliate me?


    It didn’t help that I kept getting dizzier, so I stayed put. The hallway of the spaceship looked very similar to the room, although it was now spinning in my vision. The headache was getting worse.


    Maybe I’m just bad with this particular method of transportation, being manhandled by a giant. Either way, I started coughing. Breathing felt weird now, like I needed to exhale more than I could.


    Pinky seemed to speed up after a voice said “ ???????????????? ??????????????????????? ?????????????????? ??????????????  ” Oof, now my hearing is going too.


    As pinky rounded a corner, I gave up struggling and passed out. Again. I don’t think it’s revenge for vaporizing a military base this time.